What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas right?!
Well if that is the case then I really shouldn’t be telling you this, but I have to because I am committed to the blog.
It is a little bit hard to write this right now due to my massive hangover,
aching and raw new tattoo, swollen just-pierced belly button, body covered in buffalo wing sauce, new hot mink coat that
I bought with my winnings and the stranger passed out on my lap. It’s really hard, but as I said, I am committed to the blog.
Vegas sure is the entertainment capital of the world, if you know what I mean.
Well...
I have to be honest, on the drive from Los Angeles to Las Vegas I think that all of us (Seth, Anna, Joey and Hillary) had high expectations for our night in sin city. We were envisioning something similar to what happens in the movies, you know, poppin’ bottles, drugs in elevators, chillin’ with some ‘tutes, etc. What really happened was completely satisfactory, but perhaps not completely off the hook. Yes, we did all wake up with hangovers, but only because beer was so universally cheap and allowed outside (we could even drink whiskey in the mall). And yes we may have woken up with some buffalo wing sauce smeared on our faces, but that was only because we stayed at the Hooters hotel and casino where eating wings is basically mandatory (and all of the pregnant hooters girls were such good servers). In regards to the tattoos, piercings, winnings and strangers, we left that to all of the bros who swarmed the casinos in groups wearing matching t-shirts that said “I have a (wet) dream”—yes, this part is true, and yes it was MLK day. :(
What did happen was pretty fun. After settling into our room, shaving our excess body hair and watching 20 minute of The Jersey Shore we decided to hit the town! We visited all the important spots: the MGM, Luxor, Excaliber, Cosmopolitan, New York, New York, Belagio and Wild Bill’s casino and saloooon. Seth and Joey hit the roller coaster that soars above NY, NY (just to feel a little more at home) while Hillary and I went to Nathan's. We saw the live lions at the MGM and the inside of the ancient Luxor pyramid. Really it was a lot of walking, so much so that Seth had to pee on the belagio grounds and Hillary had to buy new shoes and then we had to go back to Hooters.
Back at home, the Hooters gambling floor that is, we all felt very comfortable. Seth sat down to a game of poker, Joey and Hillary sat down to some blackjack and I sat down to the slots. We all lost. But oh how fun it was to lose that money! After I won $5, I went over to the poker table to pay Seth for the bet we had made earlier (that Las Vegas didn’t have a food co-op, turns out they do), apparently after I left Seth the dudes at the poker table asked why I had given Seth my winnings. Seth had to then explain what a food co-op was; “You know, like a health food store? Like natural foods? Like hippy food, Whole Foods?”
Meanwhile Joey and Hillary were chatting it up with all the wasted southerners and the Eastern European/South American/Asian card dealers. While being served free drinks, they made a new friend from Amarillo Texas, how cute!
I will say one last think about my experience in Las Vegas. I was expecting much more on the fashion front. It became clear to me that just like at the airport, modern American culture has completely abandonded all sense of respect for luxory indulgences. What ever happened to dressing up for a flight or putting on a gown to go play craps? I was dissappointed, but at least Joey fit in. . .